HotWired: Geek of the Week


		*Geek of the Weak Archive*

Geek of the Weak
	Christopher Naze
Membername: euripides Email: naze@internetcds.com Pre-Occupation:"Fruit of the Loom" sized lawsuit from the Conde Naste suits. . Location: too close for comfort
When did you first get on the Net? What was your first impression?
	Spring '94. The boss said to load Navigator up and learn how to use it. The immediacy of the Net and the undiluted voices of the people on it sucked me in. Hard.
What does nobody know about you?
	Played a game of Rampart against the Devil and won, saving humanity. I didn't even get a thank you card. Ungrateful bastards...
What do you do compulsively?
	Give myself awards. Shanghai unwitting visitors onto my mailing list.
What do you never get around to?
	Tango lessons, fighter pilot training, saving enough to snack at an elite level.
What makes you a geek?
	The laurel crown, wrestling naked, the olive oil... Oh, did you say geek? Who you callin' a geek?!
What makes you cool?
	When my first son was born I was handed a certificate explaining that henceforth my name and that word would never again occur within the same sentence.
Who is your hero?
	I think people get confused with this word. A hero is an ideal, an avatar, a distillation of admirable traits. Living breathing people don't do well as heroes because they are entitled to real lives, not the living out of your idealization of them. Real heroes live in myths and by that I don't mean made up stories, but in tales that have meaning for you. Me, I like Fingolfin from The Silmarillion. He loses everyone he cares about and mad with grief rides his burly steed to the Bad Place, calls out the Big Bad One who has been wrecking the world and manages to inflict some major damage before going down. I have a great deal of admiration and respect for John Hayden and Jon Tuska (film scholar), two of the smartest men I have ever known.
Who is your arch nemesis?
	Rick "I-Am-The-Devil" Neuheisel, coach of the Colorado Buffaloes, and the gremlin who lives in my OS.
Who is your dream date? (No, you can't say your wife, wise guy.)
	Rita Moreno, Fran Lebowitz, or Maria McKee depending on the day.
What matters in life?
	Your stories, the casual intimacy of the ones you love, the stories of someone you've never met, and the occasional milk-shooting-out-both-nostrils laugh.
What doesn't matter in life?
	Transplanted expectations, unwelcome advice, fundamentalism.
What keeps you up at night?
	http://home.cdsnet.net/~naze/
What gets you up in the morning?
	A little two-legged alarm clock who makes sure I never sleep in.
What stresses you out?
	Blowdarts, clockwatchers, knockwurst, people who insist on leaning over your shoulder and telling you how to do your work, beer in cans.
What relaxes you?
	Listening to a stranger seated nearby in a restaurant enjoying his food.
What do you like about the Net?
	Sending out messages in bottles that come back with new messages inside.
What do you hate about the Net?
	The computer part.
What's cutting edge?
	It's been so long since I've been to the edge, I wouldn't know it until I fell off.
What's obsolete?
	The weeping and gnashing of teeth about the "end of content" on the Web.
Who in the high-tech world do you most admire?
	Nils Bohr.
Who in the high-tech world would you most like to expire?
	That piker, Babbage. Oh, he's already dead? This isn't a very nice game...
When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you were grown?
	The King of France.
Which HTML tag best describes you?
	<!--they'll never find us here in all this trash...-->
With what fictional character do you identify?
	Dwight D. Eisenhower.
What's your poison?
	Shock tarts.
What's your antidote?
	Spree.
What product could you star in an infomercial for?
	Little Debbie Devil Cakes (based on quantity) and Avanti Condoms (not based on quantity).
What is your motto?
	Res severa verum gaudium. (Serious things are the true joy.)
What's the object of your technolust?
	This little wheel on my mouse. I'd put a little wheel on all my stuff if I could.

This format pretty much lifted from Wired Digital Inc. Can't I have my turn on the merry-go-round? Now if you all play nice, they'll never have to know...