days of naze

others may find tiny little stories attached to each item. these stories must be viewed for what they are: simply ploys to get stuff from nice readers. you will be tempted to respond with generosity but you must resist.

in no way should this link be considered a wish list. i mean, can a company like amazon really fulfill wishes?

december 31, 2000
David and I went to the doctor today. He has croup. It's a constriction of the throat that results in a scary barking cough. That was one among a host of afflictions he had in his first 18 months. Now it's back. I, of course, have otitis media, aka an ear infection. A grown man with an ear infection. And the sad part is that I didn't seem to have the infection until after the ear irrigation on Tuesday. Jack is recovering from his sinus infection. Elizabeth, who hasn't woken up fewer than 4 times per night over the last 3 weeks, was diagnosed with reactive airway last week (a minor form of asthma). The neat part is that there is complete harmony in the household. No bickering, no sniping, no quibbling. ;-)
This is only a test. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been issued firearms. Thanks for reading this year and especially during my December blog blitzkrieg. Here's to a new millennium. +10:14 PM

december 30, 2000
From the Things You Didn't Know About Portland, Oregon department:
"It's too bionic. Burnside is what all skate parks shall be compared against." Hardcore skaters laid claim to the industrial wreckage underneath the Burnside bridge and built themselves the Mecca of the skating world. [Damn - Willamette Week, our local weekly doesn't archive stories. The story quoted above is gone, but another site has a great picture of the park.] +10:10 PM

Callooh! Callay! The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! Oregon defeats Texas 35-30 in the biggest game in it's 105 year history. It was glorious and a highly entertaining game for all. Thank you to the Longhorns for a fiercely fought battle. I am very proud of our guys, who reflect the character of our state and have elevated the program to the national stage and a top ten ranking. Everybody Duck! +9:56 PM

december 29, 2000
In 25 minutes at San Diego, Oregon plays Texas in the Holiday Bowl. Yes, the Texas offensive line has 40 pounds and 3 inches on average on each of our guys. But we're smarter, faster and have more heart. And given the election, there would be special satisfaction in spanking W's team. I understand Duck fans outnumber Longhorn fans in the stadium nearly 3 to 2. It would be hard to find a better combination of enthusiasm, loyalty and sportsmanship in a football team's fans. And isn't that the team that you would want to win? +5:17 PM

concert redux
The concert on Tuesday was really fun. In spite of hearing in mono, I was able to shake off the rust and come up with an acceptable personal performance. Some moments from the concert:
Sometimes when you see the fresh-faced young Alumni, the age-gap, the envy and the ennui can creep in. Waiting to get on stage for the dress rehearsal, I had a chance to talk with Whitney, a '98 alumnae and it was very encouraging. In spite of the fact that she was 1 year old when I first auditioned for PYP, we found that we both were heavily influenced by playing in small chamber groups in our middle school years and that we both had managed to retain our hearing after having sat at the back of the second violin section next to the percussion.
I hadn't eaten since lunch and there was about 40 minutes before the concert started. A bunch of us went across the street to a coffee place. One of my super-powers is the ability to select food(s) that are perfect for a given moment. I needed something that would provide energy without loading me down. The oat cake looked like a stale biscuit but was filled with dried apricot and with the marion berry smoothie it was heaven.
There's something ennobling about a musician with their instrument. As I watched my fellow alumni unpack their violas, cellos, and oboes and cradle them casually, they gain an air of confidence and craftsmanship. It may not be quite as obvious, but this is true of all artists and their materials. Maybe this is what the person who said "art is the blossom of society" meant.
I missed having drinks afterward with Huw, Alan, Marti, Suzy, and Mary. I had to leave before the end of the concert to help with the kids (Jack and Elizabeth aren't feeling well) and Suzy and Mary didn't make it this year. But on the way home, halfway across the Morrison Bridge, I was serenaded by a devastatingly seductive songstress on the radio that made my heart race: "a cat knows / how to take it slow". +5:03 PM

december 28, 2000
My right ear has been plugged almost continually for more than a week, which means: 1) I'm living in a mono world (you have no idea how much you rely on 2 years to determine the direction sound is coming from), 2) living on one ear gives you the feeling of being underwater 24/7, and 3) words and sounds come in the left ear and go to the right side of the brain, which is unfortunately not my strong suit. I'm off in search of more meds... +10:09 PM

december 27, 2000
I was watching Inning 4 of Ken Burn's Baseball (about my 15th time) earlier this week. George Will is one of the folks interviewed for the series and he makes a comment that I'm still thinking about: "Baseball is a game you can't like if winning is everything. Democracy is like that too." +8:04 PM

december 26, 2000
strung in
Tonight at 7:30 p.m. Pacific, I play in my annual gig with the Portland Youth Philharmonic Alumni Orchestra that prevents my musical semi-retirement from sliding into a totally dormant state. The hall is beautiful and always manages to get my heart pounding before going on stage.
We open the concert with the Overture to Gilbert & Sullivan's Iolanthe and a dark movement from a Borodin symphony. KBPS broadcasts the concert locally in a few days, but unfortunately they don't stream it on the net.
Marty Jennings was definitely one of the more colorful orchestra mates from my PYP days. He wore Iron Maiden t-shirts to rehearsal to match his torn jeans and shoulder length hair. And damn, this kid could play. He would whip off incredibly difficult passages from the Wieniawski Concerto as casually as you'd recite your phone number. Marty sat way at the front of the first violin section but I don't think that the confines of a large orchestra suited him well at the time.
Marty continued to play, sometimes doing duets with his friend Jeff at a popular dessert spot in Portland, Rimsky-Korsakoffee House [actually a cool place in spite of it's cutesy name]. They'd perform Pink Floyd that they'd transcribed themselves. One time I filled in for an acquaintance and played in the pit orchestra for a performance of H.M.S. Pinafore. At intermission, me, Marty and some other musicians went out on the front lawn and hurled a frisbee until we were sweating like pigs and then we went back and played the second half. A number of years later I went to a neighborhood diner for lunch where he happened to be waiting tables. When he learned that it was my birthday, he comped my lunch. Marty is just a very cool guy.
At rehearsal, I learned that Marty passed a grueling audition, beating out hundreds of other applicants from around the nation to become a member of the Oregon Symphony -- one of the few ways to make a decent living as a full-time musician in the area. We're all very proud of you and happy for you, Marty! +3:58 PM

december 25, 2000
Yesterday my family, most of my siblings, and the extended family on my father's side were gathered around his Christmas tree (with requisite X-mas train, natch) when my brother, Craig, pointed out that all of the Naze family of the West were at that moment contained in one room. Dad saw this as a serious breech of security, leaving the neighbors next in line for Presidential succession. We agreed to never let it happen again. [Yes, we're quite the jokesters in our clan, indeed.]
I'll make this short because the baby is on my back right now and everyone is trying to sleep. But I must tell you that the Microsoft Intellimouse Optical is the closest you can come to sex on a computer. The red light on the back is the Evil Empire piece de resistance.
Overall, despite moments of youthful drama, things went quite well today. I am thankful. Welcome to the return of the light in this first week of the Winter Solstice. Happy Birthday J.C. We know that the Church picked today to celebrate your birthday to supplant Winter Solstice, but you can hardly be blamed for that. If I've got the story right, the lamp in the synagogue is still burning and Kwaanza is revving up as well. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. +9:27 PM

december 24, 2000
When I was a boy, my mother would make oyster stew each Christmas Eve. We had a great bushy Douglas Fir tree for Christmas, seven or eight feet tall. Sometimes we would drive twenty miles north to a tree farm and cut it ourselves. Dad would hang the lights -- coated incandescent bulbs that gave off a big, warm glow in primary colors. Someone had hand-made our stockings. The fabric was felt edged with fur at the top with each family member's name spelt in glitter.
Me and my brother would always be the first up on Christmas morning. We were allowed to open our stockings but the gifts waited until all were up. Sometimes that hour or so seemed like a lifetime. Tonight I need to make that magic for my children. Good night -- blessings to you all. +9:27 PM

december 23, 2000
"I will never walk through life with lowered eyes again."
Whoa. Very powerful stuff. +3:48 PM

december 22, 2000
"It's about not flinching, the way guys don't flinch when they walk the streets at night."
Beth talks about feeling unsafe at night. This was very illuminating for me. +6:28 PM

december 21, 2000
David the Philosopher [following a meal, referring to existence]: "Is this a dream?"
David the 4-year-old [urinating after dessert, the following day]: "Is this 'ice cream' pee?" +8:13 PM

december 20, 2000
things that you should know about napoleon
When you grow up in the U.S., you learn maybe 2 things about Napoleon Bonaparte. First, he sold us the Louisiana Purchase -- the largest peaceful transfer of land in the history of the world. (Never you mind that France's hold over the territory was tenuous at best and that the land actually belonged to hundreds of native tribes.) Secondly, that he was some kind of military genius. And those are both fairly positive associations in one's mind.
Having completed Alan Schom's "Napoleon Bonaparte" (1997, 888 pgs), in the interest of filling this common knowledge gap, please allow me to give you the summary, or as they say en francaise, le precis. Napoleon's chief talent was seizing and exploiting moments of opportunity. His problem? He was a spectacularly poor leader and head of state between those moments.
In his early years, Napoleon took armies that were poorly equipped and trained, and beat bigger and more experienced forces (e.g. Austria). He demonstrated flashes of tactical brilliance in his campaigns in northern Italy and Austerlitz. But his insatiable thirst for Empire led him to an absurd attempt to invade England in tiny boats, to invade and occupy Spain (think 1980's Beirut times 10), and his infamous Russian campaign. Disasters all that led to the death of a generation of Frenchmen and millions of Europeans. A compelling case can be made that Napoleon's wars were key to the rise in German nationalism and militarism that ultimately led to the horrors of World Wars I & II.
He had 2 savvy and experienced advisors in Tallyrand and Fouche, but it seems that he listened to no one. If he had heeded their advice, he would have consolidated his gains and innoculated himself against backlash by dealing more evenly with the vanquished. Instead, Napoleon destroyed the French economy through continuous warfare and an embargo against England that hurt the island nation, but did more damage to France. The embargo was an emotional response to his failed invasion. Napoleon's failure to master his ego and emotions destroyed his legacy. When angered, the Little General let his troops ransack, terrorize and rape. When he unjustly feels abandoned, a faithful servant of 20 years is persecuted and ground into poverty.
Critics whine that Schom unfairly omits significant civil contributions such as the Napoleonic Code (a system of civil law that was widely adopted by countries throughout the world) and understates his tactical genius. Yes, this book is ultimately a critique, but facts are facts. Gather all of the elements of Napoleon's life and you have not a picture of heroism, but of a scourge -- one who squandered his talent and left a continent in ruins. +9:25 PM

december 19, 2000
Spam subject headings from the last 48 hours:

($99 for 300,000 African American Contacts) [undoubtedly because of my Ralph Ellison and Malcolm X mentions in soul food]
Meet & Marry The Latin Goddess Of Your Dreams [because, as you know, I am a Latin God and big on bigamy]
Lettre d'information BVRP Software - Decembr [and also a French God]

Real e-mail would be very nice. Why don't you take a moment and say hello, maybe let me know what's going on where you are? +12:55 PM

december 18, 2000
Derek is on fire, literally and figuratively. This seems like the 3rd or 4th new fray piece in the last 2 months. Head on over to read his dance with fire and post your story of what you wanted to be when you grew up. Here's my post, but make sure to check out the story first. +12:53 PM

Happy Birthday to my brother Craig! He teaches middle school kids, which as you can imagine, is not the easiest job around. (Dang those are harsh years.) Craig has begun teaching his little 1 year old some basic sign language. Evidently, vocal chords develop at a much slower rate than the child's ability to communicate. His boy can now sign for milk and for bathroom. Cool. I'm going to have to get this going with Elizabeth. I wonder what the sign for "I'm going to spit up all over you" is... +9:11 AM

december 17, 2000
The company got it's first New York Times article last week. Unfortunately a small competitor tagged us as "the Microsoft of the industry" (yes, that's an irresistable quote) and then implied that we're centered on an old technology product offering that still has some public visibility, but is only a small percentage of what we do now. Damn. +9:29 PM

december 16, 2000
cold dark rainwater
drizzles down the black asphalt
reflecting the moon +10:08 PM

december 15, 2000
When I visit some web sites, my head supplies the soundtrack. Fred Schneider, the front man for the B-52's released a solo record circa 1984, with the legendary track Monster in My Pants ("There's a monster in my pants / and it does a naughty dance"). Fred Schneider and CockyBastard. It's like peanut butter and jelly. +9:12 PM

december 14, 2000
day of reckoning
I can tell now that I should have written about this earlier. Somehow it feels pointless now, but that's probably just election fatigue and disappointment talking.
It's just awfully frustrating that the prevention and the remedies were so obvious. For years, thousands of counties around the nation have been pleading for the replacement of punch cards, a 50 year old technology. The citizens of thousands of counties patted themselves on the backs for their robust tech economies, cashed in their budget surpluses and left their election boards empty-handed. If you live in a county with a population greater than 100,000 that uses punch cards, you owe us all a huge apology. It's your government, people. It's your responsibility.
I know some Republicans and, I swear, I even like some of them. But it seems that I've heard more stupid things out of Republican mouths over the last 6 weeks than I would have expected. On NPR last night they were interviewing citizens from around the country to get their take on the Supreme Court ruling. A middle-aged woman identifying herself as an R: "Gore should have conceded a long time ago. They should just take those ballots and throw them out." What the hell?! What would be the point of asking someone like that if they had read any Orwell? James Baker after the Florida Supreme Court ruled, for a second time, that the disputed ballots should be counted: "This is a sad day for democracy." Hello? May I speak with someone who hasn't drunk the Kool Aid? An election official with a sample ballot in his hand is chased down 6 flights of stairs and nearly beaten by a mob of R's. No, not Guatamala in the 80's -- southern Florida in the year 2000. This was a very poor showing.
The weird thing is that we're actually going to find out who won the election. And oddly, there is a part of me that hopes Bush won. Because if a fairly monitored hand count shows a clear victory was stolen from Gore, there will be a chill down the spine of America that will make a Twilight Zone denouement feel like a happy ending. If the Supreme Court hadn't so regularly cited the primacy of state rights in their rulings, the 5-4 ruling might have been defendable. Now, it's difficult not to infer bias. Hand counting is the universally accepted standard when an election is contested. Even in Texas. "In the interest of finality, however, the majority effectively orders the disenfranchisement of an unknown number of voters whose ballots reveal their intent, and are therefore legal votes under state law, but were for some reason rejected by ballot-counting machines", wrote Justice Stevens in his dissent. Damn straight.
Just imagine if W would have stood up and said: "Hey, we've got to count these votes. I believe I'm the winner and I've got the balls to back it up." Or: "Look, we don't think trying to win this in court is the right thing to do. We'll defend ourselves in every court that the Dems challenge us, but we're not gonna start anything." W would be standing tall. That would have been walking the talk.
So George W is the legal President, albeit standing in a hole. We're stuck with him for 4 years. He's in office with an undisputed minority of the popular vote and the backing of his daddy's Supreme Court appointees. But he won't be the legitimate President until the votes are counted. Until then it's just fuzzy math. +11:07 PM

december 13, 2000
I love everything about Orangina. The all natural flavors that make it actually taste like an orange without being too sweet, the fact that they proudly advertise the pulp in it (10%!), and the logo resembling an orange peel that's been removed in one spiral cut. But I'm not so sure about the website. +4:44 PM

The Fifth Sign of the Apocalypse: days of naze utilizes linked stylesheet. Be afraid. Be very afraid. +4:04 PM

december 12, 2000
David, my four year old, is the last child on the morning delivery run. When he is unhappy, he let's it be known, but he is often content to play with the wooden train set for a half hour by himself, quietly narrating the action. Between the time we drop Elizabeth off and when we arrive at his school, he'll occasionally lob a thoughtful question my way. "Dad, what happens when the Moon blows up?" Hmm. "Well, the oceans have tides. That's where the water moves up toward the beaches and then slowly moves back out. That probably wouldn't work any more because the Moon causes that. I think a lot of other smaller stuff would be messed up too."
So last Wednesday, when he began to speak I was ready for another science question. "Dad, what happens when Grandma goes to jail?" (?!) +9:12 PM

The Fourth Sign of the Apocalypse: daily updates on days of naze. +8:53 PM

december 11, 2000
In Japanese art, especially ceramics, there is a concept known as wabi. It is a flaw, usually purposefully introduced, that gives a piece a unique quality, a special character.
My site tastes not of wabi, for my errors are abundant and accidental. (I think the wish list link works now.) +9:56 PM

One reader reports that wish list is screwed up. Figures. Baby crying. Gotta run. Will fix it tonight. Kisses. +6:25 AM

Sleep simulation failed. Not successful at achieving R.E.M. Elizabeth suffers from congestion and persistent coughing all night long and is very unhappy about it. The best part of sleep deprivation is the hallucinations. A small price to pay for altered consciousness. +5:45 AM

december 10, 2000
threat or promise?
Welcome to the new phase of days of naze. Since July 14, 1998, I've been delivering essays every 3-4 weeks about things that are going on in my life or things I can't get out of my head. The essay form is one that I still enjoy and am comfortable with, but now I'd like to try something new. Something that allows me to deliver ideas/fragments/thoughts with more spontaneity -- things that didn't happen to coincide with an essay (and yes, there were boatloads).
To inaugurate this shift, you'll find a little something new here each day for the next 30 days. My aim is fun, spontaneity, and connection. Will I be like Khan and "keep-missing-the-mark" or will my aim be true like Captain Kirk and Elvis Costello? Tune in for tomorrow's exciting episode of days of naze. +10:28 PM

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May you never be more active than when you are doing nothing.

-Cato

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

-Carl W. Buehner

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