the compartments of a diabolical mind:
stupid things i have done
strung out: my life as an
brush with greatness
spawn of '64
dolce vita, la dolce vota
i am naze
sf part 1 - no rice-a-roni
my old intro: an introduction
beware! the following link
reveals that christopher has sold his soul to e-commerce.
preserve your faith in him and turn back.
others may find tiny little stories
attached to each item. these stories must be viewed for what
they are: simply ploys to get stuff from nice readers. you will
be tempted to respond with generosity but you must resist.
in no way should this link be
considered a wish
list. i mean, can a company like amazon really fulfill
march 30, 2001
Signs that David is missing his brother Jack (who is visiting his Grandfather in the Southwest):
I comb his hair the exact same way I do every morning. He looks in the mirror, bursts into tears and wails, "You made me ugly! I want my good hair! I want my real hair!"
march 27, 2001
So far, I'm digging NetFlix. The idea is that you pay a flat monthly fee ($20) and you can have 3 DVD's out at any given time. There is no return date, thus no late fees. Once you're done with it, you mail it back in it's pre-paid envelope and then they send you the next movie on your list. The selection is huge, the convenience is very cool and my first DVD's arrived within 48 hours of joining. In a month, I'll let you know if I've still got that lovin' feeling. Right now I'm headed downstairs to watch Episode 4 of The Sopranos: The First Season (DVD, natch).
why the capitol of the u.s. is washington d.c.
In fighting the Revolutionary War, the states naturally incurred significant debt. [Take note please: the more history you read, the more you realize there was no magical period in which everything was hunky dory.] The money was lent to the states primarily by individuals who purchased bonds. After the war, the odds of getting paid back by the states of the fledgling confederate nation didn't look so hot. Alexander Hamilton, the first secretary of the treasury and a staunch Federalist, argued that the debt should be consolidated at a national level to unite the states fiscally.
Wealthy New Yorkers caught wind of this and began to buy up the loans at huge discounts. States like Georgia and Virginia weren't exactly on best terms with NY (the site of the first acting capitol), but the debt scam was going too far. Evidentally, tossing the southern states the bone of an ostensibly southern capitol was sufficient appeasement to seal the deal. The New Yorkers made a killing and helped set a world precedent where the financial capitol did not serve as the governmental capitol as well.
march 21, 2001
...can't...stop...myself......all your base are belong to them.
[An explanation of how your base came to "are belong" to them.]
march 20, 2001
Close But No Cigar
Well, it was the best pee entendre haiku I've ever written. I may actually have to break down and buy the damn t-shirt...
march 19, 2001
Thank you very much to the good people at Soul of the Web for recognizing days of naze.
I've been chewing on a massive tome called Gotham. The book chronicles the history of New York City from the Lenape Indians all the way up to 1898; it's the kind of book that makes you wish you could take a week straight to drink it all in at once. A few points of interest:
It started as New Amsterdam, a Dutch colony. The Dutch brought a very progressive social system to the New World, where woman had strong property rights and participation in the economy, and an egalitarian approach to government. The remote colony didn't find it's economic legs until many years later in the late 1600's after it had been traded to Britain in a peace treaty. It seems that the British people had developed a massive appetite for sugar. The Brits brought slaves to the Carribean to grow the sugar. NYC shipped food to the Carribean to feed the workers and brought back the raw sugar to refine it. The refined sugar went to London and finished goods came back to the colony. This is what made NYC. And it all started with the sugar. Imagine it.
The British were stupendously inept in waging the psychological aspects of the Revolutionary War. They alienated the colony loyalists through their graft, corruption and high living during wartime as the rest of the population had little to eat. The Redcoats and Hessians rampaged the countryside terrorizing Tories and Patriots alike. Rebel POW's were starved, beaten and killed in the now empty NYC sugar refineries that served as death camps. It was only a matter of time before the colonists won independence. British bastards...
"These people are greatly misunderestimated...they're not lacking in intelligence facilities by any stretch of the mind. They just have a differing way of speechifying."
march 15, 2001
Gun to the Head: Question #1
Sometimes in the theater of my mind, I pose a question to myself. Usually it is a terrible decision that must be made, the alternative to not choosing being death. I've often considered this dilemma: You are going to lose a finger. Right now. Pick one or die.
I'd choose my right ring finger because I could lose that finger and still play the viola. Occasionally I wonder whether my left thumb might not be a better choice. With the left thumb gone, my keyboard speed would go unhindered, but I would never open another dijon mustard jar without some nursemaid to help.
What finger would you choose and why?
march 12, 2001
Last week I test drove a late model used vehicle. It was easily the best car that I have ever driven. Ample power, deft handling and anti-lock braking that brought it rapidly and smoothly to a stop. The price: just within reach and a good bargain. My credit union ran the title and found that it had been rebuilt. Banks (and credit unions) don't lend money on rebuilt cars.
It reminded me of the time 14 years ago when I was shopping for a viola. They like to let you use a high quality bow so that you get the best possible sound as you try out the instruments. To this day I remember the perfection of the bow I held that day. The balance was extraordinary. The weight solid, but so well distributed that it felt lighter than the club that I owned. It was beautiful. The man explained to me that this particular bow had been shipped to a customer in California, but en route had sustained a break right at the tip. Now repaired and in my hand it seemed no less perfect to me, but the bow was at risk of breaking at any time, and thus not for sale.
These brushes with perfection both left me with a sense of regret and enchantment.
This afternoon I saw a bumpersticker with a picture of a cross and the words "Truth not Tolerance". Somehow I don't that J.C. would approve.
march 11, 2001
"Voters who marked Gore's name and that of another candidate totaled more than 10 times the winning margin Bush received to claim Florida's 25 electoral votes and the White House."
march 8, 2001
Sometimes you run into people on the Web that just make you smile. Alan Taylor is one of those guys. I first ran into his story about falling in love with Seattle. His own site, Kokogiak, is a marvel that features the MegaPenny Project, which made me laugh out loud.
march 4, 2001
Lies, Damn Lies, Statistics and Divorce
One of the singlemost egregious lies (perpetuated mostly through ignorance, I believe) is that half of all marriages end in divorce. Wrong. It began when the number of marriages per year (around 2.4 million) were compared with the number of divorces (around 1.2 million). See where this is going? It all adds up until you count the 54 million marriages already in existence. The way to calculate the true divorce rate can be debated, but the consensus number is that roughly 12% of all marriages end in divorce, which is a far cry from 50%. Everyone feeling better now?
march 1, 2001
Statistically, the Yahoo Survivor2 Pool says I'm doing pretty well (80th percentile), but somehow 41,553th place out of 209,066 doesn't sound so impressive. I've got points on Amber, Alicia, Jeff, or Jerri getting voted off tonight.
When the show started, I stated that Jeff was closest to me in profession and age and Mitchell might match my personality. Eww. A catty whiner and a useless sycophant. Now I think that that Tina or Nick might be occupying my personality profile on the show.
Diablo Update: Rom, my 24th level Warrior, defeated the traitorous and diabolical Archibishop Lazarus late Tuesday night. Between his legions of bolt throwing succubi and his ability to teleport at will, it took about two and a half hours to put my Sword of Precision through him. Tonight we descend to the 16th level of the Labyrinth to face Diablo. Wish me luck.
May you never be more active than when you are
forget what you said, but they will never forget how you
made them feel.
-Carl W. Buehner