praise for
days of naze

days of naze 

inside the compartments of a diabolical mind:

stupid things i have done

strung out: my life as an amateur violist

brush with greatness

soul food

spawn of '64


most recently:

silence & cigar smoke
'i've never known a person who spoke fewer words.'

my letter to jiang
In which the Author lays the ground for the release of the EP-3 hostages.

five favorites:

i am naze


sf part 1 - no rice-a-roni

vegas, baby!

brain baker

my old intro: an introduction


wish list

april 29, 2001

It warms a hard-ass recycler's heart:
"Kudos to cardboard-flatteners and tinfoil tyrants. Portland is the top recycler among the nation's 30 biggest cities, according to industry journal Waste News. Last year we recycled or burned for energy 53.47 percent of our residential and commercial waste, earning us the right to trash-talk that also-ran Seattle." --Willamette Week +9:44 AM


april 26, 2001

new days: "I've never known a person who spoke fewer words." +11:36 PM


more birthday haiku (+ free doggerel)

German Chocolate
Need to buy a full sheet now
to hold the candles

-Stephen Bernardez (friends since pre-school)

Iíve heard your voice, I know your name,
I know the viola is your game,
I know the stupid things you did,
I know the names of all your kids, Iíve seen your face a zillion times,
and now Iíve sent you birthday rhymesó
you wanted haiku, but what the hell,
doggerel will do as well
when all I want to say is this:
have a Happy Birthday, Chris!

-Bill Hooker [I'm a sucker for rhyme. -c]

wasting time at work
writing haikus for chris naze
the boss is yelling


stupid things; strung out
brush with greatness; soul food and
essays: days of naze

-(the notorious) bwg

Thirty-seven years
Fellow spawn of sixty-four
Iím still thirty-six

-Scott (friend from my Longview days and Laker fan who is irritating the hell out of me ;-)

you say its your birthday
well itís my birthday too oh yeah
well, no but it fits

-Ed "Ringo" Edelman

Oh birthday man boy
Thoughts of thirty six again
Going grey slowly

-Wendy Lorenz

Thank you, Readers! +11:27 PM


If you are a true Blazer fan, the last 2 months have been like watching one slow motion car wreck. You can't bear to watch, but you can't quite turn away. It's over, but in the most spectacularly gruesome fashion possible. +10:55 PM


april 23, 2001

sample of birthday haiku

another year past
so many more left in life
now whereís that free cake

thanks, alan! +8:35 PM


april 21, 2001

I took my annual journey to Japanese bliss. I've received a delightful little pile of birthday haiku. At this hour I turn 37. Only one question remains: will Your Host win the birthday experience trifecta? +9:57 AM


april 20, 2001

"This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels."

There's a reason why Ebert is the best. His reviews are often better than the films. (From his review of the execrable Freddy Got Fingered.) +9:59 AM


april 18, 2001

I don't really need more stuff, but I could use more birthday haiku from Faithful Readers (that's you). We did this 2 years ago and it was one of the best birthday presents I've received. Would it kill you to take 3 minutes to shoot me a birthday haiku by Saturday? (5 / 7 / 5 is the general syllable guideline, but don't feel captive to it. I'll put up a few of them unless you ask me to keep yours private.) +11:26 AM


april 11, 2001

This morning I awoke to a distraught baby who proceeded to bash her noggin on the headboard. Her nose was stuffy and she kept backing up in an attempt to back out of it. When that failed the bawling began. David is trying to kick a serious pacifier jones. He's headed to kindergarden in September, so we're trying to get him on a night time only fix. Withdrawal symptoms? Big crocodile tears. My nephew (in my a.m. carpool) socked Jack in the stomach. Elizabeth took her pants and socks off. I forgot Jack's sack lunch at home.

You know -- same ol', same ol'. +6:17 PM


The American EP-3 crew that was being held hostage has just left China in a charter plane. I'm really glad they're free. Now I want our EP-3, dammit. It's extremely trying to be a responsible giant when you have to deal with belligerent puffshirts like the Chinese government. But in the end, I think we can all agree that I Like Chinese. +6:08 PM


april 10, 2001

Have you heard of the 5k Contest? Make the best damn web site you can jam into 5000 bytes (!) or less and then send it into the arena to do battle with 230+ other Mighty Mites. Take 5 minutes to randomly check out some of the sites. I found a graveyard ghost game, a haiku generator, and hurricane survival tips. Cool. +10:23 PM


Guilty pleasure confession: I liked Charlie's Angels on DVD. +10:14 PM


april 9, 2001

Drug testing not directly linked to public safety is a horrendous violation of a person. It's coercion, it's invasion, it destroys trust and it is our manifestation of Big Brother. People keep standing up against it -- the radical right U.S. Supreme Court upholds it. +6:20 PM


april 5, 2001

new days: my letter to jiang. [not the essay i referred to on april 1, just something that burbled up.] +12:14 AM


april 4, 2001

A county judge intends to issue an injunction of some sort against visitors to Oregon's favorite nude beach. Sure, I've seen isolated problems there, but the real hazard is accidentally scorching your privates. Oregonians won't stand for being told what they can and can't say or when and if they can die. And I'm guessing that they won't abide a judge telling them they can't take their pants off at the nude beach. +6:14 PM


april 2, 2001

This is out of control. There are 2 teams I follow every single game: University of Oregon Football and the Trail Blazers. Both have a long history of fidelity to the culture of the place.

But the Blazers are really beginning to test the faithful. We've made the playoffs more consecutive seasons than any other team in NBA history. And most of those were in years before we were the best team that money could buy. There is no team chemistry, only talent, courtesy of our proudly ignorant GM Bob Whitsitt. Rasheed Wallace, a truly gifted man and our top scorer, has a serious problem with rage that is going to ruin his career because he won't get counseling. Now, Rod Strickland, a former Blazer has returned with his chronic alcohol problem.

This team used to reflect who we are. Guys like Bill Walton, Maurice Lucas, Terry Porter, Clyde Drexler, Brian Grant. Don't get me wrong. I never quit on my team. Just right now I'm not so proud to be a Blazer fan. +10:41 PM


In our neighborhood, the occasional abandoned car gets decorated with haiku. A 30 year old rusting Toyota pick-up sports these:

on a withered branch
a crow has alighted
nightfall in autumn

carwashed by the rain
dust and grime are laid
skirting the river
+10:12 PM


Yesterday, Mom and I took Jack and David to the puppet show (nee puppet theater) yesterday. I was not expecting much from Tom Thumb, but Perry Alley Theatre wisely used the story as a vehicle for improvisation and a lot of jokes, including a few for the adults, which is pretty much requisite for decent kid entertainment.

The boys love to peer over the edge of the circular balcony high above the lobby. It just makes my hands sweat and tingle to see that marble floor 40 feet down. The east side of the Performing Arts Center features floor to ceiling glass that extends out over Broadway below (architects Balconies R Us) -- great for another adrenaline shot. The sidewalk of the U.S. Courthouse Building across the street teemed with the film crew of The Hunted. They had just finished shooting Benecio del Toro being transported in cuffs out to the paddy wagon. The sharp-eyed noticed something vaguely wrong with the marquee of a movie theater a half block down the street -- now playing: Rules of Engagement, Sorcerer, The Exorcist, The French Connection. Now who is directing The Hunted? Could it be...William Friedkin? +10:04 PM


april 1, 2001

A new essay coming soon. Thank you to Faithful Readers for the encouragement. +12:06 AM


If Lance Arthur was only the Michael Graves of HTML, you might not really care. But the main reason why people continue to flock to GlassDog five years after it's inception, is that he tells a damn good story. Two words: food brick. +12:03 AM



   May you never be more active than when you are doing nothing.




They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.  

-Carl W. Buehner


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